The Forum Zoo – Forum Members and the dramas that follow them Analysing and commenting on Forum Posters Behaviour

There’s little wrong with being a sad git when posting on a forum anonymously.

However, should you be posting as yourself, there’s a lot wrong!

What are the identifying characteristics of a sad git?

Sad gits are middle-aged

If you are young, you can be forgiven for juvenile behaviour. If you are old it can be attributed to senility or dementia but if you are middle-aged and posting like a sad git,  you really have no excuse unless of course there are mental health issues.

Sad git posts include things like:

Sad git A says:

“ooh now I know who is stirring *wink*  I will give them a wide berth on this forum”

to which Sad git B replies:

“I read you Captain”

The above is clearly an attempt at cryptic private dialogue. However the sad git part of this dialogue is that a better (more intelligent) way to engage in private banter is via email or private message and thus negating a need for being cryptic or as I prefer to call it speaking in forked tongues .

Given the forked tongue anlaogy perhaps a reference to snakes and not sad gits would have been more appropriate?

As a forum regular, you will no doubt see these cryptic attempts at private chats on forums often.

Why do people attempt private chats on public forums?

Aside from the fact they’re a few slices short of a full loaf  it is because after a few years of treading  the forum boards they cease to be able to operate outside of the public domain. Rather like Z-list celebs who have a camera crew trailing them everywhere covering all their ‘bad bits’. It is addictive, highly counter productive and reveals to the world what a sad git you really are!

Motto of this story

Don’t have what should be a private chat on a public forum. It makes you look like a sad git.

Note: some forums are called private forums but as members of the public (not otherwise known to each other) can join, they remain public (hence all forum references here are ‘public forum’ related) to everyone except Google and other search engines.

Here’s a fun little poll

‘what forum zoo animal are you?’

Are you a wolf? Do you hunt in a pack and protect your own to the death?
Or are you a sloth? A lurker who rarely posts and remains in one spot for a long time before moving on?

Running a forum must be akin to running a school. I’ve certainly observed a high level of school playground behaviour on forums, not least picking on the new kids, forming gangs, lewd innuendo and that’s just how the moderators behave! I’m kidding of course

Anyone who has posted on forums as a regular or even as a passive observer will note that there are always cliques that hunt in packs. Most members avoid these people or pacify them when they approach. They may even feign friendship just to avoid receiving unwanted clique attention. That is the mistake cliques make…..believing they are genuinely popular. I believe Hitler and his ‘clique’ suffered the same delusional thinking.

Power can enable people to lose focus.  They forget that in real life they are otherwise human, otherwise weak.

Moderators who play favourites

Every forum will have their fair share of  moderators  who have their favourite members who they allow to flout the rules, flame other members, stalk & troll without rebuke. And should the prey of a favourite become the hunter …boom! Deleted posts, warnings, bannings and so on. Favourites are always safe.

Moderators  everyone adores.

There are moderators who are able to be objective and the voice of reason. They don’t play favourites and are a calming influence on what can sometimes become an unruley forum mob. They are silent observers only revealing their omnipotent presence when things get out of hand.

We’re not worthy.

Not private is the simple answer.

A private forum is only different from a public forum in that search engines cannot pick up the content and so if you post your business details and someone then does a search for your business, those details won’t show up on that ‘private forum’.

But in every other respect a private forum is a public forum as members of the public (otherwise not known to you) join and view and do all the things that can take place on public forums.

Those viewing private forum threads can share, forward, email or publish information posted on a private forum thus making it public. What action can be taken by a forum to prevent this is unclear.

There are rules (as laid out in the forums terms of service) that govern how members (and moderators) should behave on forums. Breaches of those terms of service can be reported to those who are responsible for hosting the forums.

Private forums are subject to the same rules as public forums though it can sometimes be the case that moderation in those private forums is slacker.

Is a private forum ‘private’ like when you chat with mum over cocoa?

Hardly.

No idea, let me know if you’ve figured it out

Seriously it is simple.

Before joining any forum, go in quietly like a stealth bomber.

Observe, post in infrequent bursts, acknowledge the hierarchy and obey. Thank everyone for their illuminating advice even if it’s a load of old cobblers.

Offer support to members who seek advice on defrauding the tax payer. You may think their behaviour is unethical, it might be criminal or immoral but to be a newbie and disagree, cast judgement or criticise is akin to signing your own death warrant.

Right and wrong are defined by whom is whom on forums. Right = old member, wrong = new member.

Sooner you learn that the better you’ll all get along.

The most effective way to piss off, annoy and antagonise oldie forum members is to ‘just post’.

Post with a polite air of confidence on any thread you have an interest in and post often.

Is this it?

Indeed it is.

Nothing will annoy old and established members more than a newbie who has not had to tread water for several weeks before making a significant contribution to the board.

Forum oldies view forums as mini communities and like newbies to undergo a settling in period where they  can learn about the forums hierarchy. If you are a forum newbie and you do not learn of and respect the forum hierarchy you are in for a rough ride.

Those oldie members that consider themselves to be at the top of the forum food chain will try to rapidly subdue you, until like a dog you roll over and play dead on command!

If you learn of the forum hierarchy and choose to ignore it, you may find yourself the prey in a vicious game of hunt, trap and kill.

The hunt will consist of a pack of members trolling all your posts, posting childish, meaningless off topic drivel to put you off your stride. They’ll try to make you lose your way. When you succumb and become lost they have you trapped. The pack will close in and devour you…….if you let them.

You can at this point choose to  ‘back off’ or sit back in amusement and wonder why they’re such a bunch of losers.

A while ago I joined a forum predominantly populated by females and it was amusing to note the ‘mob’ mentality in full swing there.

A gaggling collection of babbling bawling bitching girlies.

Not all of them of course but the ones with nothing better to do than respond to posts they can barely comprehend, so accuse the poster of Bs when really what is at fault is their IQ.

A little stretch and they snap. No flexibility there.

I did my hardest to be …er reasonable, but it was really a waste of time.
When the geese get gabbling, clucking and their heads start bobbing up down, up down, up down, gabble gabble, cluck cluck.

Fella’s you know what I’m saying!

There is no stopping them.

Bah who am I to talk, gabble gabble cluck cluck. It must be catching! But then it is catching and this is why it’s called ‘mob mentality’. Usually a term attributed to rioters I can easily see this behaviour on forums, though men are by far more civilised and less competitive.

What is it in nature that makes women behave this way?

Like bitches to each other rather than being supportive and nurturing which is the shit we’re all force fed into believing women are about? Does it stem from the past when we thought other women might eat our babies?

I seriously think some of those women would eat their own!

This article was written by Christine Imamshah